Shutter-Finger Fuel

It has become clear to me the kind of style I am creating for myself as an artist. Calling myself a real artist is terrifying. The first time I had to do this was yesterday when I made a facebook page for my Photography (also terrifying... but you can go to it here and LIKE IT: www.facebook.com/WendyShepPhotography). I have only ever referred to my photos as "my art", but never to myself as "an artist". Anyway, here are a few of my favourite things to admire through my lens.

First up, rain/puddles/reflections. Yes. I can't get enough. Especially at night time. Every streetlight I pass in the rain begs me to take its photo.

This might be my favourite from this whole blog post.

Second is street art, of any and all kinds. Especially when there are words, whether they make sense and resonate with me or not.

Here are some I took in the beautiful city of Montreal:

Google Translator tells me this means blah. I'm happy about this.

This was beside a washer/dryer repair shop called "Elvis" (if I remember correctly...). You can't see it but behind the fence were a bunch of beaten down washers and dryers. What better place to keep them than in the back alley of your establishment?

Outside a french fry shop with a little garden :)

And from Guelph:

Oh, I guess number three would be stairs, evidently.

Montreal

Montreal

and fire escapes as a sub-category of stairs.

Montreal

 AND FUN COLOURED HOUSES! (Number four)

Montreal

Montreal

More shots from Montreal (until we get to obsession number 5):

Bonjour, monsieur. This fella was about a foot from me.

Oh hi there! I'm thankful he was a nice french squirrel. Without rabies.

FIVE: Benches. I love me a good bench shot.

Six: hands. I don't actually understand this fascination. It's pretty ironic because there's nothing I hate more than hand model photos. I think I'm more drawn to how people express themselves with their hands. I love how it goes hand in hand (HA.) with how they're feeling or what they're doing. Hands tell a story.

This isn't the best representation of the love I have for photos of hands, but I'm sticking to April photos so far. It's still a major component and makes the composition of this photo that much better.

There's likely more to this list but it's a good summary, considering all of these are from the first half of April. Tells ya what's on my mind I guess... 

As for the rest of life seen through my eyes....

Guelph got hit with an ice storm...

 

aaaaaaand Colleen and I went for a bike ride :)

I also learned about roller derby.

And my last point of the day, essentially unrelated to anything else.... is that friends make the best bookmarks. :)

FIN!

PS: after looking at all my outdoor photos from this month, I am increasingly convinced that B&W are cameras' ways of making early spring look beautiful. (before there are flowers, and while everything still looks sad)

March Thoughts (a little overdue)

Here are some photos from the month of March I took that I am proud to say are mine.

I think it would be appropriate to deem the month of March (and spilling over into April) as a month of disorganized thought for me. Not only did I slack (HARD) on my 365 project, I admittedly lost some interest. I attribute this to two things: fear and lack of motivation.

  

I have stepped out of my comfort zone A LOT in the past year, but I am still afraid to keep going and to get out and get what I want. I have this constant fear of inconveniencing people, or making them feel uncomfortable behind my lens, but I know I will never make anything I am really proud of until I get over that feeling and go for it. Going for it is glorified every day, but that doesn't make it any easier (neither is spilling my deep philosophical thoughts on the interwebs but here I am doing it anyway). If I feel shy about whipping out my camera around the people I love the most, how am I going to do it well in any other situation? I cannot express how lucky I am to have people in my life that allow me to do so, and to feel great doing it, and encourage me to keep going. Every person in these photos is one of those people, simply by letting me be there with them.

 

All of this goes hand in hand with my loss of motivation, which tends

to happen more than I am proud of. I am not really sure why my motivation is so easily lost on something that I enjoy so much. I've never had to deal with losing creativity so fast when I need it so often. I am a disciplined person, but it's hard for me to keep goals when the only person judging me and holding me responsible is myself. I'm not going to be happy with my life unless I make something I love of it, so I'm not sure why I'm holding back on all the hard work it will take to get there. I have a feeling that it's mostly the f-word I mentioned above.

When it comes down to it... I don't really know anything. Including what I want... and I don't know how to find it. I may just have to wait. I hate waiting.

“A critically important step in understanding our own desires and tastes is to realize is that we cannot always explain what we want deep down.” -- Malcolm Gladwell

On second thought, I need to quit waiting and start doing. I waited for 4 years of university only to find that what I think I want deep down, wasn't what I earned a degree for. I kept trying to convince myself I could be sufficiently happy doing something I mostly enjoyed, but never actually loved. Naively, I thought it was too late. Now I feel like it should never be too late, even if it feels like it. 
(Fun fact: I edited this blog post multiple times trying to change the font size of this sentence to match the rest of the blog... it wouldn't let me. Maybe the universe is trying to make a point?)

 If I just sit and wait, I'm not going anywhere, I'm just sitting, hoping that what I want will come to me. That isn't realistic, though I wish it were. I'm excited for this upcoming year to give me a better idea of what I am creatively worth, if anything at all. I'm going to try to stop my crippling doubts from getting to me and I think that will be the biggest challenge I face.

On the subject of doing... I need to make a list of demands for myself. I hear this rumor that if you write down the things you want you are more likely to achieve them, so maybe I should give it a try.

To start on a lighter note, here's the things I have accomplished so far that I didn't think I would.

1. Had my work published for the first time.

2.Asked by 3 different strangers on 3 different occasions if they could use my photos (apparently I look like I know what I am doing)

3. Started this blog

4. Found some kind of courage to share my artwork.

5. Did some self portraits (they're fun!)

I was really upset about lingering winter this day.

6. Got an official job as a photographer.

7. Raised approx. $1000 for Movember (This is barely related to my photography, but still provides a basis for my hope that one day I can actually do what I set out to do.... or better)

8. Got offered money for my photos

9. Was told by those around me, with no volition other than their own thoughts and opinions, who wasn't my mom, or my family, or my friends, that my photos are great. 

 

Someone lost their keys, I hope they found them.

"Hippies use back door"

Some of these accomplishments seem really small, but when you're trying to be honest with yourself about where you want to go, they seem bigger.

Now for my working list of goals I would like to achieve, ranging from the near near future, to a long time from now, in no particular order...

 1. Teach myself and master a new skill every week.


 

Door to love?

 2. Create a brand and business (Yowza). 

 3. Shoot a Wedding

4. Capture a moment that will mean a LOT to someone (this is a goal that time again will be set and achieved... I hope).

5. Banish my embarrassment about going about getting what I really want and coming by it honestly (this goes for many facets of my life, not just this one. It's the scariest one)

6. Create a really good looking website

7. Write more.

  8. Get paid to travel the world and take photos of extravagant tree houses. (This long term goal might seem kind of ridiculous, but it appeals to the child in me that I hope to never lose)

 

Fin.

March 3

Sadly I missed out on taking a photo for March second. It was a long day of serving rich people dinner and when I got home I was pooooooched! I hope to make up for it today though by spending some quality time with Tito.

Instead we skip to today, Sunday, March 3rd. A morning that consisted of some cozy tea drinking, made for the first time in our fun elephanté mug (as I like to call it).

Here's my photo for day 62! Jodi is the cutest.

February 27 - March 1

February 27

I am obsessed with taking photos of Jodi's windows and seeing what's outside of them on any given day. It is often the same scenery, but it got switched up on Wednesday with the beautiful new snow!

I also spent some quality time with Photoshop, you can see it in my fifty-eigth photo of my three-sixty-five.

Later, Jodi asked me why I didn't just go and move the bottle to take another photo. Firstly, I wanted to see if I could do it (I can! woohooo), and secondly (I read this somewhere, and it is something I had never even thought of before), light is never the same twice. I liked this photo just how it was in every other respect, except for the bottle. So there you have it.

Here's some more from that day:

February 28

Winter wonderland... and that's all I have to say about that.

Here's my fifty-nine/three-sixty-five!

 March 1

sixty!